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On Halloween Eve, Alexander’s Steakhouse transmogrified itself into Alexander’s Snakehouse. It ‘twas scary — very scary. In the words of the general manager, “Not for the faint of heart or weak of spirit.”

Or slim of wallet. For $175, patrons were escorted by a ghoulish presence into the lower level— now, more dungeon than dining room. Once seated, they were served “Rattlesnake rillettes with citrus sage anti venom; the Scryer’s bowl with calf brains and shirako marrow egg; Silence of the Ducks with seared foie-gras, fava beans and a nice Chianti; Steak and the Heart with aged Angus beef, beef heart ragout and potato hay; and the Poison Apple with oatmeal and I scream white chocolate covered insects.”

The dining experience was heightened by a silent rendering of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre looping on a wall-sized screen, ghostly organ music, masked waiters, toothy jack-o-lanterns, snakes in jars and ‘blood’ on walls.

But the scariest part of the evening wasn’t the scenery; it was the prices on the wine list. When a bottle of Romanee Conti Grand Cru goes for $11,280, that scream you hear may be your own.

Alexander’s Steakhouse is at 448 Brannan Street between Third and Fourth Streets in San Francisco.

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DOUBLE HEADER (First Game)

On their next trip to San Francisco, your readers can take in a big double-header. Here’s the first game:

Through February 4, 2018, the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art, SFMOMA, is hosting “Walker Evans,” a humungous retrospective of the seminal 20th century photographer’s work. His most famous photo is here, “Alabama Tenant Farmer Wife,” along with candid New York street portraits, collected ephemera, photos of his home, and much, much more.

Four-hundred images, some little larger than postage stamps— it’s informative, and it is exhausting.

The second game is a cure for exhaustion, just around the corner, at the Contemporary Jewish Museum. Check it out.

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On their next trip to San Francisco, your readers can take in a big double-header. Through February 4, the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art, SFMOMA, is hosting “Walker Evans,” a humungous retrospective of the seminal 20th century photographer’s work.
Four-hundred images, some little larger than postage stamps— it’s informative, and it is exhausting.

But just a block away, the Contemporary Jewish Museum, CJM, has a pick-me-up. Through January 28, 2018, its most lively and invigorating exhibit, “Jewish Folktales Retold: Artist As Maggid”, awakens tired eyes. Rough enough, ‘maggid’ means story-teller. The CJM commissioned sixteen contemporary artists to pick a Jewish folk tale and riff on it. The result? Surprise. Enchantment. Delight. Some of the artists are Michael Arcega, Julia Goodman, Dina Goldstein, Vera Iliatova, David Kasprzak, Elisabeth Higgins O’Connor, Mike Rothfeld, Tracey Snelling, Chris Sollars, M. Louise Stanley, Inez Storer, and Young Suh and Katie Peterson.
Jewish Folktales Retold: Artist as Maggid
Sep 28, 2017–Jan 28, 2018

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DAY FOUR

Roy

I predict that on November 6, 2018, the voters of Alabama will elect Roy Stewart Moore to the Senate. This is of note because Moore, a former chief justice of Alabama, was twice removed from the bench for defying judicial orders. And because he proudly espouses these beliefs:

  • President Barack Obama was not born in the United States.
  • God placed Donald Trump in the White House.
  • Muslims should not be allowed to serve in Congress.
  • The Sept. 11, 2001, terrorist attacks were God’s punishment for America’s wicked culture.
  • The First Amendment only applies to Christians because “Buddha didn’t create us, Mohammed didn’t create us, it was the God of the Holy Scriptures who created us.”

And, after breaking news that Moore and his kin have gotten rich from ‘charity,’ I’m doubling down on my prediction of his election victory.

 

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Jules Predicts

 

DAY THREE

Fight

Though today, there’s not an inch of daylight between them, I predict that on or before February 14, 2019, political partners and best friends Donald Trump and Mike Pence will have a brutal, ugly and very public falling-out. It will be replete with name-calling, accusations and rancor most foul.

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